Today is the day that I am fortunate enough to pay off some debts. What a wonderful feeling you would say . . . being able to relinquish a couple of financial burdens and feel lighter about it all. As I sit here though, there is a heaviness that lingers in my body and an empty feeling that envelops my heart. The sadness that ripples along as the after affects of losing my Mom are brought up to bear.
I miss her so very much and it's times like these that I am reminded of the ebb and flow of grief and the time that must pass in order to move on. It seems that while a wonderful gift has been bestowed upon me, it comes at a hefty price.
As most of you will know my mom and I shared a rather tumultuous relationship at times. Since I have grown from teenager to woman I have come to understand, appreciate and totally admire my mother. It was through my own life experiences that I began to hold my mom in more of an empathetic and completely compassionate light. These times of development and struggle for me, evoked the strength I began to see in my mom. She was an amazing human being and remains to be a powerful being in my life. I love you Mom.
Monday, June 22, 2009
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2 comments:
She certainly helped shape you into the spectacular woman you are today and that alone is admirable. And I for one am forever grateful to your mom and dad for their part in delivering you to this place and time.
Remember that they still want you to live the happiest life possible. So imagine how much joy they get out of leaving you something and seeing how much it helps you improve the quality of your life.
Their gifts are a means to continue giving you all that they can.
LYM!
-Z-
I understand having lost my mom in the past year. Often the relationships we have with our parents can be so complex. You are who you are because at least in part of your relationship with your mom. And you are a terrific, interesteing and talented person who I'm glad to call my friend. Do not try to squash the emotions you feel about her lose, just live thru them and there will eventually be some peace, know that you can always talk to her. I have conversations daily with my mom.
Deb L
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